When you wake up from a dream about an ex-boyfriend; it can be shocking and unpleasant. Isn’t it so? But truly speaking these dreams are a reflection of your present state of thoughts, feelings, and actions in waking life. There were instances where people reported such absurd fantasies even after many years of being in one single relationship.
However, dream analysts believed that thinking about an old love is not that uncommon. If you are one wondering what is happening for the last few days or months; continue reading further to unleash the hidden mysteries of such dreams.
Summary in Infographics
Meaning of Dream about Ex Boyfriend
Dream about ex-boyfriend symbolizes intrusive memories of the past filled with unresolved conflicts, leading to emotional pain and suffering. These lucid dreams represent unfulfilled wishes, present day relationship issues and a longing for love and closeness. Usually, these dreams offer sadness, remorse, regret, guilt, and bitterness.
When you dream about an ex-boyfriend, it could mean you have gone through an undesirable and painful breakup and you are unable to comprehend it. You are not happy with the way things ended between the two of you. This dream does not have one size fits all explanation. The interpretation depends upon the specific dream situation and the emotions that are attached with it.
In most cases, dreaming about an ex- boyfriend could mean a longing from the past, a wish that you want to fulfill in your current relationship. In dreams, you are just visiting old memories and getting connected to those happy moments and lonely experiences shared together.
Your ex-lover is symbolic of a happy timeline of your life that you miss now. It reminds you of certain qualities of him that are missing in others. Maybe your current boyfriend is less passionate, cold, or does not zeal with your expectations.
Whatever the reason may be, dreams about ex-boyfriend doesn’t always mean that you wish to go back to him, rather it indicates that you are trying to fill the void of your waking life by sweet memories of him.
When your present relationship goes through rough patches, then you may start dreaming about an ex because you are missing certain qualities of your ex and wish to relive a happier period of your life. It leaves you wanting more, your unconscious needs are making its way in dreams.
Why do I keep dreaming about my ex-boyfriend? (Reasons)
Dreaming about an ex-boyfriend is an incredibly common occurrence. So girls, not to freak out. Your dreams may not indicate that you want to get them back in your life again. Literally, it could signify your real life problems, anxieties, and insecurities related to a relationship issue that is popping up in the unconscious mind. Let’s analyze a few reasons why you keep dreaming about an ex-boyfriend.
1. Unresolved past issues and trauma
Your unconscious mind is trying to resolve the past trauma and suffering that left you broken and blemished. For example: if your ex had cheated you in the past, you may fear the same repeating patterns of distrust and cheating in your present relationships.
The fear and deepest insecurities may make you agitated and you may start dreaming about him, bringing out similar feelings of cheating and deceit in waking life. You may fear of being cheated again. Thus, it is actually the fear and worries of waking life that makes its way in dreams.
2. Sadness and mourning
Breakups are always heartbreaking; no matter how they happen. When you break up with your ex-boyfriend, you may feel the grief within. There is an empty and void feeling going on within your ‘psyche’. You are mourning the loss of the relationship, and the happy moments shared with your ex.
Maybe you were never ready to experience the breakup. It has left a deep seated scar forever from your previous relationship. If this mourning is continuous and you have not healed, then dreams about the boyfriend can happen regularly.
3. Ex-boyfriend represents something important
When you dream about ex, it is often symbolic. It represents a time of your life that is happy, easy-going, carefree, and tension free. The feelings and memories of the past were getting represented in dreams.
Probably, it is not the person who still holds a value for you; rather the time that you miss now. Your ex-boyfriend represents closeness, happiness, love, and passion that you are badly missing now.
4. You want closeness in relationships
Your unconscious mind keeps the tits and bits of information that are usually forgotten by the conscious mind. Maybe, your unconscious mind is longing for a mental and physical closeness with someone dear to you. You wish to have more love, passion, and intimacy in your life that is not there.
Your ex-boyfriend represents an unmet need or desire; thus they recur in dreams, even if you wish to stop it. Lack of emotional closure in waking life may make you feel stuck and confined in ex dreams.
5. Fighting with your present boyfriend
Are you people fighting a lot these days? Do you think your present partner is nagging, intolerant, abusive, and ill-tempered? If yes, then it might cause dreaming about an ex-boyfriend.
If you get into regular verbal fights with your present partner and feels that he is toxic and abusive, it may remind you of your ex who was courteous and loving. Your subconscious mind may signal towards a comparison between your present partner and ex and start considering your ex as far better and lovable.
6. Ex- boyfriend showing up in social media
Is your ex-boyfriend showing up in Facebook feeds and Instagram stories? You must be having a strong urge to click on their profile and see the recent updates. The temptation to stalk and follow them is always there.
Your conscious mind may start questioning your decision of leaving him. You are thinking about them in your waking life; a genuine interest to know about their life and living. Thus these issues may find its way in the dreams.
7. Ex-boyfriend contacted you
Have you recently got a call from your ex-boyfriend? Is he trying to reach you, out of the blue? You probably must be thinking, why did your ex called you, after so many years of breakup? The issues of your waking life may get manifested in dreams.
If your ex tries to call you and you respond to his call; then your old memories will make a quick sneak peek; even beyond your will and control. The old love and spice associated with him makes a good trigger to return back again in your life. He may show up in dreams because you are trying to stir up the old stuff again; though unconsciously.
Another cause of dreaming about an ex-boyfriend could be loneliness and solitude. Though, he is not physically present with you now, but he still occupies a large part of your unconscious thoughts. Maybe, you miss certain good qualities of him that you have never found in someone else. Your lonely soul desires for something good and satisfying.
9. You’re scared of getting hurt
If you are moving through a rough relationship with your present partner now, you may have hidden fears of getting hurt again. To get over a breakup was not easy, it comes with a fear and worry of getting hurt and abused again with some other partner.
If the previous breakup was hostile and brutal, your dream about an ex-boyfriend is a reminder that the relationship is moving on a similar path. You need to be careful and cautious and make necessary changes in your waking life to avoid the emotional pain and agony that you have suffered earlier.
10. You have forgiven them and moved on
If you had suffered an unexpected breakup with your ex-boyfriend, it may have caused much hurt and pains, beyond recovery. You never got an opportunity to forgive him for his misdeeds. Thus, when you dream about him, you are actually forgiving him, healing your broken ‘self’ and have learned to move on in life with happiness and inner peace.
This dream symbolizes that you have accepted the breakup and the agony associated with it. Dreaming about an ex-boyfriend also represents emotional healing and personal growth; for a better living.
What does it mean to dream about an ex-boyfriend? (Symbolic meaning)
Many women have reported that they started dreaming about their ex-boyfriend being in a relationship with their present partner or even husband. Though this may sound weird, it holds deeper symbolic meanings.
When you are in a relationship, you are more likely to dream about the ex-boyfriend because your unconscious mind is busy comparing the two of them. If you dream of a breakup with an ex-partner, it may represent your hidden fear of being rejected in the new relationship. It is quite obvious that your brain always brings up weird fantasies when you are fearful, worried, and insecure in waking life.
Sometimes the dreams about ex-boyfriend may be because of abstract feelings, like what’s they are doing now? Do they still miss you? These feelings pop up because either you are lonely or you are in a relationship that is cold and shallow. Your present boyfriend is emotionally distant and the relationship lacks closure and intimacy. When the needs of present waking life are not getting fulfilled, you may start getting troublesome dreams about ex.
When you dream that your ex is married to someone else and not you, it indicates that your feelings for them are still alive and fresh. You are antagonistic and jealous that someone else can become a part of their life; and not you. Similarly, if you see that your ex-boyfriend died in dreams, it means healing. You have successfully buried your past and have moved past the relationship.
Thus, the dream interpretation depends upon the context of the dream and your feelings associated with it. You will have to pay attention to the details; note down your feelings after waking up. Knowing the answers to several queries crossing your mind, could help to analyze the meaning of the dream in a better way.
20 types of dreams about ex-boyfriend
As these are super common dreams, let us analyze the meaning of a few of them in a detailed manner.
1. Recurring dreams about ex boyfriend
If you are dreaming about your ex-boyfriend repeatedly and too often, it may indicate a hidden desire to see him in waking life. Maybe you have not seen him for a long time and wish to relive those old moments spent together. These dreams are representations of your emotions for someone who holds a special place in your heart till now.
In certain instances, recurring dreams about a boyfriend signifies the importance of first love; love that represents a lot of passion and intimacy. You’re missing those moments with your present boyfriend or husband; because your waking life bonding has become a mere routine. It has lost its charm and you wish to get it back again. This dream is all about wish fulfillment, feeling happy and accomplished.
2. Dream about ex boyfriend getting married to someone else
When you dream that your ex-boyfriend is getting married to someone else, it indicates a lot of confusion and emotional pain in your present relationship. He is a remnant of the past that was either good or bad for you. If your relationship with your ex-boyfriend was good and you people shared good times together, then this dream symbolism may mean your secret wishes to hold on to the past. You are not still over the breakup and carrying emotional baggage, beyond recovery.
It hurts a lot whenever you think of the breakup, as you never wanted it. You still harbor secret wishes for him and feel for him. There are deep romantic feelings somewhere beneath the surface of the unconscious and it is getting relayed through dreams. If you see him marrying someone else, it hurts you a lot. It is totally unacceptable and you may feel stuck and confined in the past.
In another context, if the relationship with ex was full of problems, abuse, and humiliation, it could mean that you wish to forgive him. You want to forget the past hurts and forgive those who sin against you. When you forgive, you start living in bliss and content.
3. Dream about cheating your boyfriend with ex
A dream theme of this type usually involves jealousy and resentment in real life. If you see that you are cheating your present partner with the help of your ex-boyfriend, it means that you are not happy with your present life. Your relationship is at loggerheads and doubtful to continue smoothly. This dream symbolizes lack of liking and love making in real life.
You are not happy with your present boyfriend and you are jealous of your ex. Your ex represents your repressed wishes. Maybe, you adore his style, or confidence, or looks that are missing in your present boyfriend or husband.
4. Dreaming about a dead ex-boyfriend
A dream about a dead ex-boyfriend is a warning sign; symbolizing some impending danger in waking life. In another context, a deceased boyfriend means that the relationship is over now. You are able to move past the relationship and have forgiven him for his misdeeds. A dead ex-boyfriend symbolizes inner healing and end of toxic ties forever.
5. Dreams about ex-boyfriend years later
Dreaming about an ex-boyfriend suggests that you have forgiven him, buried the past hurts and learned to live without him. Whenever there are too many unresolved issues in a relationship that were never addressed but only got repressed in the unconscious, you may get an exes dream even if you do not want to.
Odds are that you still have hurtful feelings left in you from your past bonding. Your subconscious mind is trying to work out things in its own weird ways. You have hidden fears of being hurt again; maybe you are doubtful about your present partner also that you are trying to resolve in real life.
6. Dreams about ex-boyfriend apologizing
When you dream about your ex-boyfriend saying sorry and seeking mercy for his misconduct, do not think that he wants you back in his life. Rather this dream denotes your unfulfilled wishes of getting him back in your life. You have not accepted the breakup and hope that something good can happen still now.
Always remember that there were genuine reasons for the breakup and you were not happy with him. The relationship was abusive and devoid of adjustments. Now he is just your ex and nothing else. So it is futile to consider a good possibility. Move on with your life with integrity and self-respect.
7. Dreams about ex-boyfriend rejecting you
When your dream is about an abusive ex-boyfriend who rejects you in your dreams, it means you need to let go of your past and stop living in it. You should focus on building new relationships in your waking life. Try to make better bonding with your loved ones.
Feeling rejected by an ex means that your subconscious is reminding you to heal your past wounds that you have felt during that relationship and move ahead in life. You are not to hold on to the memories of the past days, as it would give nothing more than pure suffering.
8. Having sex with ex-boyfriend
If you see this dream theme, it’s an indication that you are still missing him. There is a secret wish to get him back in your life. It is necessary to ask yourself whether you still want him back in your life. The broken bond can never mend itself and it’s not a worthy try at all.
Thus, you should develop a healthy attitude and think several times before you reconcile and accept the past. This dream is symbolic of a longing for lost love and intimacy. Your unmet needs are showing up in dreams.
9. Annoying dream about ex-boyfriend
Annoying dreams about ex-boyfriend may actually indicate irritation, shame, and dissatisfaction about the bad habits and behavior of your present partner. The negative habits that you never liked about your present boyfriend or husband may show up in your dreams. Maybe, it has nothing to do with your ex; rather symbolizes your present day issues with your current partner.
10. Ex-boyfriend in danger
This dream symbolizes a valuable lesson learned from the past. If you dream about your ex-boyfriend in danger and you saved him, it means that you have become a confident being now. You have learned to let go past issues now and have learned your mistakes.
Forget and forgive have become your life’s rule. Contrary to this dream, if you do not save him from danger, it means you have not learned to let go. You’re still trying to hold onto your past memories. You want your ex to suffer from guilt and remorse.
11. Dream of killing your ex-boyfriend
To dream about killing an ex-boyfriend means that you have killed certain aspects of your personality. You have successfully overcome the pain of the breakup and have become a worthy and confident being.
This dream symbolizes the power of your ability to put an end to a toxic tie and let go of negative feelings and resentments. As if, you are happy to be born again. You have killed the negativity that threatens your inner peace and happiness. Killing your ex-boyfriend represents good luck and a fresh start.
12. Dream about ex boyfriend and his family
If you dream about spending time with your ex-boyfriend’s family, it means that you still miss the old memories and togetherness you once had with him. Since you were used to a routine before; your subconscious is concerned where the routine is gone now.
The comfort level that was there in the relationship is no longer available in your waking life. This dream also symbolizes your mourning and grief for the lost contact. You are nostalgic of your ex-lover and cannot forget him.
13. Dream about ex’s new partner
Seeing your ex-boyfriend with his new partner can be incredibly disturbing. It signifies a moment of transition in your life. Your subconscious is helping you to overcome the worry and accept the reality of the breakup. It tells you to let go past ties and dare to start a new one. The dream symbolizes fear and insecurity of starting something new in waking life; because you fear failure and delay. A new partner is symbolic of a fresh start; forget and forgive your ex and move ahead in life with dignity.
14. Dream of fighting with ex-boyfriend
This dream usually holds a positive meaning. If you see that you are fighting with him, it means you will have a lot of good changes coming your way. This dream represents joy and good luck because you have learned to overcome obstacles, forget and forgive, and move on with life. You have finally resolved repressed issues with him.
Contrary, if you dream of a physical fight with your ex-boyfriend, it means unhappiness. You feel stuck and confined in your present relationship. Maybe, your present partner is too dominating, controlling, and restricting by nature. This dream symbolizes abuse in real life that is unacceptable.
15. Kissing your ex-boyfriend in dreams
This dream theme means some impending problem in your waking life. If you dream about kissing, it means you are inviting new problems. Maybe, you will be preoccupied with work related problems, or adjustment problems with your present partner. You may feel stressed and emotionally overwhelmed. This dream holds a negative sign as it brings tension in waking life.
16. Romantic dreams about ex-boyfriend
When you get romantic dreams about your ex, it means that you have not accepted reality. You are trying to hold on to the past memories for no reason. Maybe you are engrossed with thoughts of him and the time spent together. You may feel too anxious to know his current life status and whether he still feels for you.
This dream can evoke a lot of tension and agony in waking life. You may have a hard time facing yourself and your present partner, you may feel that you are cheating and hiding some important stuff from him. Romantic dreams also represent your craving for love and emotional closeness that is no longer present in your waking life.
17. Dreaming about being ignored by him
When you dream about being ignored by your ex-boyfriend, it may mean that you are overlooked or not given any attention. You are left out by someone important in your real life. This dream meaning is symbolic and may not represent actual ignorance from an ex-boyfriend but it relates to your present day relationship status.
Your present partner is aloof, emotionally distant from you for some reason and it is making you anxious and worried. These dreams symbolize friendship and relationship differences with your current partner.
18. Dream of wanting back your ex-boyfriend
These dreams are symbolic of wish fulfillment. It means that you miss certain qualities of your ex-boyfriend in your present relationship. The dream represents old passion and hidden wishes that were never addressed. You feel empty from within and desire to be with someone more loving and caring in your waking life.
19. Dreaming about ex-boyfriend proposing you
If you dream about an ex-boyfriend proposing to you, it means a good sign. It indicates that you have come to terms with the breakup. You have accepted the reality and learned to let go of past hurts and sufferings. In waking life, you overcame the pain and forgiven your ex. You have released it for some good of yourself. The thoughts and feelings of real life are getting portrayed in dreams.
20. Dream about ex-boyfriend when you are married
If you are married and getting dreams about an ex-boyfriend, it means that your married life is going through a storm and stress. It indicates problems with your spouse; maybe you are not happy with him. Your relationship is showing similar feelings of maladjustment and breakup. Your long desire to patch up with your ex gets relayed in dreams.
Usually, these dreams are symbolic of your subconscious trying to clean up past issues and at the same time you are trying to figure out the pros and cons of your present partner. The broken parts of a long lasting relationship is deeply wired and thus gets manifested in dreams
21. Dream about ex and current boyfriend
When you dream about your ex and current boyfriend together, it actually means you are fighting an inner battle with yourself. You have developed some kind of irrational fear and apprehension related with your current boyfriend. Maybe, the present relationship is showing similar signs of maladjustment, like the previous one and is soon going to hit the hard rock. Your present boyfriend reminds you of the toxic past. It’s an indication of your present relationship problems.
In another dream context, this dream symbolizes unfair comparison between the two phases of your life. Your current relationship might have become a mere routine and you are missing a previous happy timeline of your life with your ex-boyfriend. Sometimes, you may see your ex-boyfriend fighting with your present partner.
This dream represents jealousy, anger, resentments, and dissatisfaction in your love life. It signifies your unresolved conflicts and unmet needs. The best way to come out of it is by resolving the present day issues with your present partner; otherwise the old and the new will keep on squabbling in the subconscious mind and you will lose your inner peace.
Ex-boyfriend Dream Spiritual Meaning
Ex-boyfriend dreams usually reflect what’s going on in you. It unfolds the truth of your waking hours. This kind of dream also represents real life worries, insecurities, and stress in the ongoing relationship. Maybe a wake-up call for you to delve deep into the unconscious thoughts and feelings and resolve those quite immediately.
The best way to analyze an ex-boyfriend dream is by understanding the underlying feelings associated with the dream context. Generally speaking, ex-boyfriend dream represents your feelings associated with your past and how you evaluate your present relationship status. Moreover, these dreams are random thoughts that make its way in the subconscious mind because you are not happy with your present life status; maybe your present boyfriend or husband is boring, less warm and passionate and he is not the one you were looking for.
You are trying to compare him with your ex; your subconscious mind is giving you messages that your present relationship may also head towards a rough road, beyond recovery.
Spiritually, an ex-boyfriend in dreams also indicates unresolved issues from the past. As the breakup was sudden, you never got a chance to complete an unfinished task with him, this fear is getting relayed in dreams. You fear losing another relationship in a similar way.
These dream themes are also symbolic of missing a good time in your life. It represents friendship, happy connections, love and peace, fun and frolic that may not be present in your current relationship. The stirred up old memories of ex-boyfriend are filled with emotional highs and are usually quite concerning and keep recurring again and again.
What to ask yourself when you are dreaming about an ex-boyfriend?
Just because you are dreaming about your ex-boyfriend does not necessarily mean that you are still in love with him or want to hook up with him. The dream analysis depends on the context, the dream theme, and your emotions attached with it after you wake up.
You can ask yourself the following questions, if you regularly dream about an ex-boyfriend.
- How often do you dream about your ex-boyfriend?
- Can you remember the context of the dream?
- How do you feel when you wake up in the morning?
- Could you analyze the dream moods?
- Is your current relationship going steady?
- Have you accepted your breakup in a healthy way?
- Do you miss your ex-boyfriend in waking life?
- What changes happened in your life after the breakup?
- What life lesson did you learn from past experiences?
- Do you maintain a dream journal to note down your feelings?
The video link given below illustrates the meaning of vivid dreams about ex-boyfriend.
Dreams about an ex-boyfriend can mean many things. Probably there is something in your waking life that is not moving smoothly. You just need to delve deep inside yourself and break free of toxic ties of entrapment and emotional web that is holding you back to move ahead in life.
It’s time to make your present and future relationships strong and healthy; as you know your past can always shape a better future. So, avoid making past mistakes and be good enough to learn great lessons to remember forever.
Chandrani is a former school psychologist and teacher by profession. She is a post graduate in Applied psychology with focus in clinical and health domains. Her passion for writing, kindled during school days have now become a full time freelancing endeavor. For her, writing is cathartic and keeps her mentally agile. Her lovable niches includes psychology, parenting, spirituality, lifestyle, and love and relationships. Her work depicts her perspectives about various experiences that she came across; unleashed a richer and deeper meaning of life. "Let me leave an aftertaste in the minds of few, if not many who need to find a path of absolute bliss, happiness, and inner peace."