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Dreaming about an Ex – Uncover the Reasons Attached to Dreams

Dreaming about an Ex – Uncover the Reasons Attached to Dreams

Updated on Jan 18, 2023 | Published on Feb 17, 2021

Reviewed by Dr. Nereida Gonzalez-Berrios, MD , Certified Psychiatrist

Dreaming about an Ex - 35 Different Types & Its Meanings

All of us do get odd and unusual dreams once in a while. Right? Do not sweat it out. You are not the only one dreaming about an ex. It leaves you wondering whether, deep down, there are still secret wishes that you want to get that person back into your life. 

Besides, you must be wondering and trying to figure out the reason behind it. So let’s uncover the hidden interpretations attached to such dreams.

Dreaming about an Ex - 35 Different Types & Its Meanings
Dreaming about an Ex – 35 Different Types & Its Meanings

What Does It Mean to Dream about Your Ex?

Dreaming about an ex is a mere reflection of your inner being. It is your insecurities, self-doubt, and the trauma ridden parts of your psyche that needs an emotional healing. It may also mean longing, unfulfilled wishes and desires, and unresolved conflicts.

Dreams can become highly unpleasant and stressful if you are dreaming about an ex. It’s because the same person shows up in your dreams again and again to give an indication of what’s going on in your life right now.

Maybe you still feel for your ex and have not been able to move out of the relationship.

It could also mean the unresolved conflicts, the worry-laden part of your inner self that is full of self-doubt and apathy.

You just need to do a lot of self work to let go of the emotional baggage that you are carrying from your traumatic past.

The dreams are symbolic and represent the hidden parts of your broken ‘self’ that are associated with your past relationships or with your present one.

It symbolizes shock, disappointment, unhappiness, betrayal, or even cheating that are trapped in you and needs an immediate catharsis to move on with your life happily.

When you dream about your previous relationships, it may mean various things depending upon the type of dream, the context and the various issues that you are facing in your wakeful state of being.

You need to question yourself whether your desire for love, closeness, intimacy, trust, loyalty, and respect are being met by your present partner.

What Does It Mean to Dream about an Ex Boyfriend?

This dream symbolism is a common concept. When you dream about your ex boyfriend, it can mean various things depending upon what you saw in the dream and the emotional component associated with it.

It may happen that you are happily married for several years now, but still you are getting dreams about your ex boyfriend. 

In such a case, the dream theme denotes unresolved conflicts with them. You are not happy about how things have ended between the two of you.

You still harbor feelings for him (good and bad). Thus, ex-boyfriends denote anxiety and unfinished business of the past that still hovers you in dreams.

In another context, these dreams are symbolic of a longing for love and affection that you are not getting from your present partner.

It symbolizes that your present relationships may also show signs of breakup. you are carrying emotional baggage from the past that still haunts you.

Dreams about ex-boyfriends also refers to relationship issues, lack of trust and instability in your current relationship.

There may be countless problems arising in everyday life that are manifested through dreams. Thus, the vivid dreams communicate adjustment and coping with real life issues.

To read more about Dream about ex-boyfriend, click here.

What Does Dreaming about an Ex Girlfriend Mean?

This dream symbolizes your residual feelings for your ex-girlfriend. If you have broken up recently from her, it could mean that you still miss her in your life. you want to get her back and reconcile the broken bond.

You might be sad or unhappy with the present partner or want to see the qualities of your ex in her.

Symbolically, dreams about girlfriends mean that you are dealing with past emotions. This happens when you still have a strong urge to get her back in your life.

Maybe your present relationship is not moving smoothly and you are needy of a stable bond. Your mind is busy evaluating the pros and cons of both the relationships.

Since ending the relationship with your ex-girlfriend was an abrupt one, you might be trying to come to terms with it.

The unresolved issues and the hidden sentiments are surfacing in the subconscious mind.

However, social media stalking can also be a cause. Maybe you are seeing her pics and profile updates quite regularly on Facebook or Instagram.

This is giving you pain and you are reliving the old memories and intimate moments shared together in dreams; as it is no more possible in reality now.

To read more about Dream about ex-girlfriend, click here.

What Does It Mean When You Dream about Your Ex? – 35 Scenarios & Its Meanings

Dreams about an ex can be happy, fearful, confusing, annoying, and what not. It can mean a plethora of complex emotions often difficult to accept and acknowledge. You get bewildered about your next move.

Every dream that you see about your ex-partner is unique and unmatched with the other in terms of context and interpretation. Most of these dreams bring to the surface the signs of:

  • Emotional dissatisfaction
  • Need for closeness
  • Unresolved issues and fights that left a deep scar in you
  • Abuse and neglect from either side 
  • Scary and violent incidents
  • Resolved feelings where forgiveness took a part to end the breakup forever.

Let’s analyze the few types of common dreams about an Ex and what they mean.

1. What does it mean when you dream about your first love?

When you dream that you have fallen in love with your first love all over again, it is symbolic of passionate desires, carefree love, excitement, a strong need to be together with someone. This dream also means closeness and physical intimacy.

This dream is pretty common and it shows up when you feel that your current relationship is pretty routine monotonous. It lacks desire and passion and is going through a routine patch.

This dream is a reminder that you need to do something about it. Either you find someone who can bring back these feelings back into your life or you sort out issues with your present partner to get some spice in the relationship.

2. What does it mean when you dream about a recent Ex?

You’re dreaming of a recent ex because you are not happy about how the relationship ended between the two of you.

You were not mentally prepared for the breakup. It has left deep wounds that are difficult to heal.

Ask yourself how the breakup was like? Do you still feel that you’re trying to hold on to the tiny bits out there or trying to keep false hope alive?

Your subconscious is telling you to let go of and it’s trying to help you to move on from there.

3. What does it mean when you dream of your ex rejecting you?

If you see a dream where your ex is rejecting you and doesn’t want you back in their life, it actually means the same feeling that you held for them in your real waking hours.

You do not want to patch up with your ex because the relationship was selfish or maybe it was only working on one-sided commitment from your end.

4. What does it mean when you dream of an ex apologizing to you or wanting you back?

There can be a significant meaning attached to it. If you dream of your ex who is saying sorry or apologizing for their misbehavior; it might symbolize some current problem.

Loewenberg noted that this is a kind of wake-up call where you need to find out whether you are missing the person or it is some specific time in your life or moments shared together that you still miss and wish to revive in your present relationship.

You secretly wish and hope that your current partner does possess certain traits and does some similar actions like your ex-partner.

5. What does it mean when you dream of fighting with an ex?

This is a pertinent dream that represents some underlying issue in your present relationship. If you seem to fight a lot with your current partner, it may get manifested in your dream state, only the person changes.

Moreover, fighting with an ex could also symbolize your inner fights with yourself. You are not happy with your life right now and have become your worst critic.

Your self-esteem has also become very poor. There is much battle and inner conflict going within that resembles your dream state.

6. What does it mean when you dream of an ex having children with you?

When you see such a dream, it may mean that your subconscious is trying to get you people together for the sake of a child. You still have a good reason to connect and your dream just means it.

Your subconscious manifests itself in dreams where it wants you to get back together with your ex just for the child that you both have.

7. What does it mean when you dream of getting back into a toxic bond with your ex?

Whether you dream of cheating, adultery, or abuse, any toxic ties with your ex-partner indicates the underlying fear and mental trauma that the relationship gave you.

You are emotionally overwhelmed and to some extent it also shows the signs of PTSD.

It has been found that women who stay in an abusive relationship for a long time feel humiliated and insulted. They feel scared of another breakup and beat themselves up for staying in that relationship for too long.

8. What does it mean when you dream of having sex with a toxic ex?

If you dream about an ex with whom you are having sex or physical intimacy, it could mean that your need for physical closeness is somehow not satisfied.

You crave intimate moments but not getting it from your current partner. Ask yourself whether you wish to take that person back in your life; if at all they’re back.

If it is not so, then look into the status of your current psychological state. It shows that you have come to peace with your toxic past.

You have accepted your ex as a part of your past, forgiving them for whatever they have done. Forgiveness allowed you to heal those broken and wounded parts of yourself that caused immense pain over these years.

9. What does it mean when you dream about your ex’s annoying habits?

Dreams about annoying habits such as smoking, too much drinking, unsolicited sex, alcoholism of your ex-partner can pop up in dreams too often.

It is nothing but your repressed fears and apprehensions that whether your current partner will also share such annoying and bad habits.

10. What does it mean when you dream of a romantic dream with an ex with whom you have not dated?

This dream may not be related to your ex but some specific good quality of them that you still miss. This could be about the person’s personality or the good times spent together that still reminds you of the lost love that you people had.

You wish to relive those romantic moments in your present life. So this dream is more about wish fulfillment and less about anything specific.

11. An ex in physical danger and you are saving them

This dream is all about what you have learned of the broken bond. It taught you courage, resilience and endurance to fight odds. You have also learned to let go of toxicity and forgive the person.

When you dream that you are saving your ex, it means that the relationship has taught you to become strong and overcome adversities. You are a confident person now and your subconscious mind is telling you to remain so in your real life as well.

12. Your ex killing you

When you dream of death it means change, end of something or a transformation. If you see that your ex is killing you in dreams, ask yourself how the relationship changed you emotionally? Did it kill you from within?

Did it break your self-confidence and you are not the same person now as before? This dream means the end of your mental strengths, the damage it caused to your self-esteem, the hurt to your ego.

13. You killed your ex

When you get such dreams it means that you have successfully overcome the trauma of the breakup. You are not holding on to the residues of frustration or resentment that gives immense pain.

You have allowed yourself to heal and remove the negative emotions associated with it. This dream represents healing and paves the way for a healthy or successful bond in days to come.

14. An ex dating someone else

When you get such a dream it means that you have come to terms with the fact that your ex-partner will have a life after you.

You are also at peace with yourself and allow yourself to accept the changes that life has offered you.

This is a healthy dream as it allows you to heal, grow, and evolve. The negative side of this dream could be you are over concerned about what’s going on in your ex’s life that seems to be absolutely unnecessary.

15. Spending time with your ex’s family

You may get this dream because you were used to this same old routine almost every day when you people were together. These vivid dreams are just symbolic representations of your present mental state.

For you, the comfort level is no longer there. Your subconscious wants to get back the same routine and is missing it more than usual. But surely everything fades off with time and it will be away soon.

16. An abusive ex

This dream has deeper meanings. One interpretation is you have not been able to forget and forgive the distrust, anger, fear, and resentments that the relationship created in you.

By this way, you may be allowing your abusive partner to hold onto you and give you more pain. Your abusive ex has left deep scars in your psyche that was difficult to overcome. So it’s showing up in your dreams.

17. Fighting with an ex

This dream is quite common where you dream of having a verbal fight with your ex. It can also be killing your ex or ex trying to physically hurt you.

These vivid dreams mean that you’re still trying to hold the broken pieces of the relationship somewhere in the unconscious. You’re fighting with yourself because you want to heal but unable to do so successfully.

18. You’re pregnant with your ex’s child

This dream analysis is a positive one because it symbolizes learning, healing, growth, and evolution.

You have learned to forgive your ex, learned to move on with your life without him/her. This dream is symbolic of personal growth and self-realization as well.

19. Being near your ex

If you are dreaming of being near your ex it means that your ex still holds a place in your heart. There are residues of the relationship that is still being carried by you.

Sometimes this dream also means certain issues (good or bad) of those times that are happening in your present life now. So, you are getting similar reminders of these unresolved issues in your dreams.

20. You’re stealing something from your ex

Usually these dreams are from your recent ex. You may dream about breaking into their house or car, or even trying to steal something.

According to dream analyst Loewenberg, this dream means that you are trying to get into the underlying causes or reasons of the breakup or relationship failure.

21. An ex who wants you back

If this dream is about an ex from a very long time who wants you back, it’s your subconscious hinting towards an innate weakness that you might still hold for him/her.

It is a wakeup call for you to understand your weaknesses, the old relationship issues that still hurt you and what you can do to overcome those in a healthy way.

22. Missing your ex or ex missing you

These dreams are symbolic of longing and lost love that you still miss in your relationships. It symbolizes your desires and unmet needs. You still long for a compassionate partner, you feel wanted.

Contrary if you see that your ex is missing you then it means you miss the relationship. You wish to get hooked again. Some subtle wonders of the relationship are still haunting you.

23. An ex giving advice to you

When you dream of an ex giving you advice it means you need to learn from the mistakes of the past relationship and move on with your life.

It warns you not to repeat the mistakes again that you have made with your ex.

24. A sick ex

If you dream that your ex is sick or is admitted to the hospital and you are taking care of them it means that you are still healing your broken ‘self’. You have not come to terms with your breakup.

You want to heal from within so that you can regain some positivity in life. This dream reflects your heartbreak and emotional trauma that you are trying to overcome.

25. A dying ex

When you dream of an ex who is dying or is already dead, it is really terrifying. You would be scared and confused. Right? It represents your guilt. This dream tells you to analyze your mistakes in the relationship.

Could you have done anything differently to make the relationship work? Was it fully your ex’s fault or you too contributed to the breakup?

This dream is a kind of self introspection showing the dark aspects of your personality that needs to be altered to develop healthy future relationships.

26. An ex breaking up with you again

This dream is symbolic of your hidden trauma that has left deep cuts in you. You are reliving those moments of breakup that you never wished to suffer.

It’s replaying over again in your dreams. If you are dumped by an ex who was your first partner it may mean you feel rejected and emotionally abused. You feel turned down for no fault of yours.

27. Arguing with your ex

When you dream about arguing with your ex-partner it means that you still hold a grudge or anger against him/her.

There are unresolved conflicts that led to bitterness. Now you are making an effort to let go and forgive them so that you get the peace of mind that you deserve.

28. Physical contact with an ex

When you dream of physical contact with ex, it symbolizes old love and passion. It also means that your subconscious mind is still holding residues of the past relationship and it has not allowed you to move out of it.

A part of you still desires the longing to be with your ex. You may be missing the closeness and intimacy, the beautiful moments shared. You are not ready to accept the truth that the two of you are no longer together.

29. Eating with your ex

This dream is symbolic of sharing and caring. It means that you miss your ex-partner as much as they do.

Often food is associated with love, giving, and sharing. So these dreams symbolize emotional closeness, connection, and company.

30. Swimming with your ex

Water seen in dreams is symbolic of heightened emotions. So it’s the same here as well. When you see yourself swimming or bathing with your ex-partner it means emotions are running high within you.

Moreover, if the water is calm, it means you are peaceful or that the issue is resolved. But if the water is rough, it represents conflicts are still on and pain is deep within, felt during that relationship.

31. An ex having a good time with you

This dream indicates that you still embrace the positive aspects of the relationship with your ex. You miss those good times, that small happiness shared together.

Your subconscious mind wants to keep those memories intact; no matter what issues come up later have led to the breakup.

It doesn’t always mean that now you wish to reconcile and give the relationship a chance rather it means you have healed and moved a long way from it. You just want to keep the old sweet memories to cherish forever.

32. An ex kissing you

According to Lauri Loewenberg, hooking up dreams represents your repressed desires to get back the old magic of love and belongingness in your life.

Most of the time, these dreams are about your first love where kissing and physical intimacy was more often experienced.

But you miss those aspects of the relationship now. She explains that these are related to more of the feelings associated with your ex and less to the ex themselves. You wish to get back the lost spark in your life.

33. An Ex who is cheating you

When you dream of a situation where your ex has cheated you, it represents your fears and insecurities of being cheated, deceived, or humiliated by ex or your present partner.

You do not trust others now and suspect that your current partner can also cheat you one day. There is a lack of trust and dependency in real life that is showing up in dreams.

34. Getting married to an ex

If you dream of getting marriage proposals from your ex or actually getting married to them, it means that you have accepted the aspects of the relationship and you have learned from past mistakes.

The dream tells you to leave behind your past and move ahead in life. It tells you to stop thinking about your ex-partner in real life situations.

A marriage scene with your ex may also represent your unhappiness with your current partner. Your needs and wishes were not fulfilled and as such you long for something more.

35. An Ex crying

This dream represents that you are still bothered about the well-being of your ex. You have harbored secret wishes that nothing bad should happen to them.

You are not revengeful and happy to let go of the negative feelings against them. What you feel during the dream is also important for interpreting the meaning.

If you feel bad about the other person, it means you have forgiven them. If you are happy to see your ex crying, it means you still hold a grudge against them and feel good that they are suffering.

Biblical Meaning of Dreaming about Your Ex

Psychologists consider dreams as a medium of expressing our repressed wishes or desires. Some unfulfilled passions and needs remained hidden for years and suddenly popped up in dreams.

Now a relevant question that comes in the mind of many is whether dreaming about an ex does carry a biblical meaning?

The Bible says that when you see dreams of your ex-partner, it reveals God’s way of showing you the old ways of thinking, feeling, and doing things.

You just need to shed off old patterns of behavior and accept the new ones. 

It’s an indication to let go of past hurts, forgive those who sin against you; to seek God’s mercy if you are wrong in some ways. Your dreams about your ex represents your longing for something that was never satisfied. 

It is desirable to let go of things that can never happen and move on in life with whatever you have.

God is trying to tell you that you are self-sufficient to validate your feelings; he wants you to move past emotional pain and suffering and live life in its best form.

It is insignificant to rely only on the dream because the context in which the dream was seen and your present wakeful state is equally important to interpret the dream meaning.

Thus, the Bible says to have faith in yourself and seek Almighty’s blessings to live a fulfilled life with loving and faithful relationships.

Spiritual Dream Interpretation about Your Ex

From a spiritual point of view, dreaming about an ex could mean that your ex-partner is still thinking about you, missing you and wants to come back in your life.

It could mean an unfinished job between the two of you, both were unhappy with the way the relationship ended. Thus, maybe their thoughts found their way into your dreams.

Spiritualists believe that all human relationships are meant for a purpose. It’s not a mere coincidence at all. They also say that sometimes these dreams carry deeper meanings.

Maybe your current relationship is showing signs of maladjustment and you fear losing this just the same way as the previous one. You see signs of breakup slowly creeping in the relationship without understanding how to deal with it.

The unconscious mind has repressed fears and insecurities, coupled with grief, anxiety, unhappiness is just getting manifested in the dream state.

Why Do I Keep Dreaming about My Ex?

It is not unusual to dream about your ex; if you were into that relationship for a long time. Maybe you are unsettled about how the relationship ended between the two of you, the breakup was painful and you are carrying emotional baggage (both good and bad) till date.

Whatever the reason might be, it is advisable not to jump into conclusions about the various dream meanings.

As dreams are symbolic, it represents your present state of thoughts and emotions that are stored in the unconscious state and gets manifested through dreams. 

According to Lauri Loewenberg, renowned author and a dream analyst “the context of the dream makes a big difference in what it means.”

Moreover, Loewenberg also feels that dreams about an ex can reflect your anxious and unsettled state of mind. It has nothing to do with your longing to get hooked with your ex.

When you keep dreaming about your ex-partner it means that your present relationship is not going smoothly and you are missing a happy and carefree timeline of your life spent with your ex. 

Maybe your present partner is less loving, caring, and emotionally distant and this makes you compare her with your ex. Suddenly you may start to feel that your ex was better in so many different ways than your present partner.

Sometimes dreams about an ex also mean negatively. If you had a toxic past and were into an abusive relationship with your ex, the dream is a warning to see that the same pattern of misunderstandings and fights should not show up in your present relationship. 

The dream tells you to look for subtle cues of disagreements with your present partner and resolve it as early as possible to move on with the relationship for a long time. As you are scared of being hurt again, you need to be extra cautious this time.

Moreover, You may dream about your ex too often if you are emotionally and sexually dissatisfied in your waking life.

You may feel rejected and less loved in your present relationship and as such your ex appears in dreams to tell you to do something to revive the lost connection and bonding between the two of you.

To know more about reasons behind ‘Why Do I Keep Dreaming about My Ex’ – click here.

How to Stop Dreaming about Your Ex?

Mending a broken love life was never an easy job for many. Though breakups have become more common these days than what they were 20 years ago; it is evident that any relationship leaves an imprint on your psyche, especially the ones that involve a lot of spark and emotional excitement in it. The aftermath of the breakup is even more difficult to deal with.

After the dust is settled, people report getting dreams about their exes. It makes them confused about whether they still miss their ex in their life? Do they still love them and want to get hooked again?

These vivid dreams are often quite disturbing and intriguing and feel like an enmeshed maze of complicated feelings and troubled thoughts from which escape becomes difficult and even impossible.

Here we are going to discuss a few ways of how to stop having relationships dream about an ex and move on with your life successfully.

1. Spend time with yourself

If you are in a period of loneliness and longing for companionship, it’s time to focus on yourself. Accept your needs and try to fulfill it. Embark on a journey of self-love and identify your strengths. You need to work on your weak areas and grow as a confident being.

You will not miss those people in your life who have never recognized your worth. Just rebuild your broken self-esteem and see the changed you.

Never settle for less but always strive to self-validate who you are. If you do so, a time will come when you will get the right person in your life.

2. Accept that the relationship has ended for good

Dreams about an ex makes a nasty comeback when you do not accept the fact that the relationship has ended.

You still try to hold on to the broken pieces of it. It is important for you to let go of your past hurts and grief and accept that you people were not meant to be together for a long term.

It’s time for some soul searching down beneath yourself and accept everything as it is and not as the way you may want. You need to come to terms with the fact that the relationship has ended for some good.

3. Forgive your ex

The best way to stop those horrible dreams is by forgiving the person. Do not harbor bad feelings for your ex-partner. Accept that certain things in life happen for the best interests of both. So this breakup is just that.

Never hold any grudge or resentment. You need to make peace with the situation and focus on personal growth.

It makes you a better person. Just embrace the happy memories of moments spent together and move on with life with dignity and self-respect.

4. Remove your stressors

If you want to stop those crazy dreams about your ex, just eliminate the stressors from your current life situation.

The breakup was not easy going, so focus on things that you love doing. Set life goals that you wish to pursue and start working on those. Do not sit back and lament for things that did not happen or will never happen.

Rather it is desirable to follow the path of self-improvement and become a confident being. You can start a new life by becoming busy in your daily work, pursue a hobby, join a self-help group etc.

It is equally important to follow a no contact rule with your ex-partner and do not re-visit your past memories in your waking life.

5. Develop a positive mindset

It is a good idea to feel happy within and things around you will fall in place. Do not feel ashamed if you see red flags in your current relationships.

You need to analyze the situation rationally and then take a call. If the current situation is bringing out similar feelings, try to find out the mistakes from both sides before arriving at a decision.

You can even keep a dream journal and note down the dream context and its corresponding feelings.

This enables to see the bigger picture of the issue and helps to develop a positive mindset to accept things if the breakup happens in future.

6. Leave it to time

Sometimes you cannot do much to heal from within. In such a situation, the best way to deal with these dreams is by leaving it on time. The memories of breakup are fresh in your mind but with time it will fade out and shall not bother you much.

As you start moving on, your feelings for your ex will be fewer. So let time do its job and allow yourself to accept things as it’s going on right now.

7. Try to forget your dreams

A good idea is to forget the dreams when you see them. Let them just happen. Do not try to assign meanings to it.

If you get up with an ex’s dream, just remind yourself that a dream is a dream. It is not your current reality and move on with life.

You just need to dismiss your dreams and nullify its effect on your life. The more you practice doing it regularly, it will fade off from your subconscious and will not fester you much.

8. Seek professional help

You can seek professional help from a dream analyst or a psychologist to develop strategies to cope up with the anxiety that these dreams give you. It’s time for you to take some action and develop better ways of dealing with your ex’s dreams.

Do not be harsh on yourself and take help from others when you feel the need for it. Distract yourself from those emotions that make you weak and broken.

The video link given below shows the types of dreams about an ex –

Parting words

Just not freak out and remind yourself that dreams about your ex-partner are not abnormal at all.

In most cases, it’s not the person who you miss but the circumstances or a particular happy timeline of your life that you long and wish to get back still now.

The best way to deal with it is to forget and let go of your hidden wishes as much as possible. Why can’t you be only ‘you’?

Acceptance is the keyword that helps a lot. Let life move on and do not bind your head and heart with someone who can never come back in your life. Take pride in ‘Live and let live’ to find inner peace and the ultimate happiness that you deserve.

If you get dreams about your crush then check its meaning here.

If you get dreams about gigolo then check its meaning here.